It’s amazing that your heart can be blown back and forth so easily. I leave church, have lunch with my family, and will be in an amazing mood. But later on, when I’m home by myself, the loneliness creeps back into my heart. I ache for that constant friendship. I yearn to be understood and accepted and loved, and I so desperately want people around me. I long for that one person that I hope to spend the rest of my life with. I find myself wondering how much longer will I have to watch my sister and many of my friends date, get engaged, and get married.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m super excited for them. I am not jealous at all for my younger sister to have found the love of her life? How can I deny her that excitment? How can I bring her down, just because I feel lonely. And my other younger sister; how can I not be excited for her too? I mean, she is discovering young innocent love. She has found someone she trusts, enjoys, finds funny and attractive. How can I not be thrilled for her? What she has is only just want I want.
*Sigh* And yet, I know that this achiness that I feel inside of me is only because I’m believing the lie that the enemy tells me, that says that true contentment and happiness can be found in a relationship with someone I love. …And that’s so not true at all. I need Jesus. He is the only thing that will bring me peace inside, and calm the storm that I feel rising in my heart.
Psalm 18:1-2 says, ” I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” …So true. This is the truth my heart needs to cling to.
Psalm 18: 16-17 goes on to say, “He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters. He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me.” This again is so true. It is only His doing that I am content and at peace. Because He is my Rock and my Redeemer, and He is the One who saves, I will be at peace. And no matter the size of the waves around me, or the strength of the wind that blows on me, or the strength of the emotions that fill me: I WILL be at peace. God is good. He will be all I need. He is all I need. He always has been, and He’s never let me down. That’s enough for me.
What you’ll find here is a collection of musings, thoughts, writings, and ramblings about things I’m reading, watching, and thinking about. It’s my goal to inspire, encourage, and instruct my fellow sisters in their walk with Jesus and their understanding of the Word.
- Erika Recommends: Best Books of 2021 - December 15, 2021
- Slow-Going in the Fast Lane - October 14, 2021
- A Taste You Can Feel In Your Cheeks - September 29, 2021
