On Sunday the College and Career group met and did a study on Matthew 14 where Peter walks on water. The interesting thing is that Peter has enough faith to persuade him to ask Jesus to tell him to come out of the boat, and enough faith to propel him onto the water, but when he gets out there and realizes the circumstance in which he is standing on water, he suddenly realizes he can’t continue to stand on the water by his own strength. That’s when he falls. He fails to continue to put his faith in Christ. The one who told him to come out of the boat in the first place.
And this is so much like me right now. I am in the middle of a situation that is causing my heart to feel very stormy, and the wind in my mind is so strong. And I am realizing I am in the middle of this storm, walking on water, called out a boat that I can’t go back to, and am here. On strength not my own. And as I begin to fall, as I begin to feel like the waters, wind, and waves engulf my head, I call out “Lord, save me!” And He will.
The actual account says that immediately Jesus reached out and pulled Peter back up. I don’t know when the ‘immediately’ will be. I know that Jesus totally had an agenda in Peter’s day: He saw them struggling, actually ‘straining’ at the oars in the evening, and when he finally went out to them between 3 and 6 am the next morning he intended to ‘pass them by’! It is only when they bring Him into the boat that the wind stops, and they reach the shore they had been headed.
So, my ‘immediately’? I don’t know when it will happen. Who knows how long God will allow me to flaunder in these waves. I don’t know how long it will be before Jesus decides it’s enough testing this time ’round. I just don’t know. A bit tricky, if you ask me, Miss Black-and-white.
But there are things I do know. I know He knows me. I know that He knows how desperately I am engulfed. I know He knows that I am desperately lonely and am missing two of my favourite people. He knows that I am wondering how to continue on in these relationships that only really exist on page. How He knows.
And I also know He loves me. Inspite of my failings, and doubts, and weaknesses. I know that He has never let me down so far, and I’d say that’s a pretty good track record. I know that He is good. I know that He is out to seek His glory, and He is out to do the best that is possible for me. (What a priviledge to part of glorify the Almight God!)
And, really, what more can I ask? Sure, I can whine about what is going on and I can try to do things and change thing on my own strength. But seriously now, when has that ever worked? Why trust my clearly failing track record to One who’s a perfect one?
So, here I am. I have just stepped off the boat, let go of two people I desperately love, trusting that God will be with me and them no matter the distance between us. I can’t get back into that boat. I can only stand here with my heart pounding and my mind blowing. And stare into the eyes that have loved me since the beginning of time, and call out, “Lord, save me!”
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our faith…” Heb 2:1a
What you’ll find here is a collection of musings, thoughts, writings, and ramblings about things I’m reading, watching, and thinking about. It’s my goal to inspire, encourage, and instruct my fellow sisters in their walk with Jesus and their understanding of the Word.
- Erika Recommends: Best Books of 2021 - December 15, 2021
- Slow-Going in the Fast Lane - October 14, 2021
- A Taste You Can Feel In Your Cheeks - September 29, 2021
